The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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