We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
