literally had 100 drinks last night.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
