We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
