i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
