I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
