I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
