Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
