Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
