Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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