maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I touched a dick in church today
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
