I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
farters have to be the big spoon...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
