i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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