Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize