Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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