Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
