Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
