Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
