So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I feel like abortions should bother me more
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
