Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
