I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
