We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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