Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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