Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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