we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
people are starting to question the shark bite story
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I supernannyed him into submission
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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