Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
