I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
