The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
my poor anus
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
