THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
