Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
