walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
