Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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