Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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