Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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