Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
