i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize