your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
