Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
soo... how was my night?
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