if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
