That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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