omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
