I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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