Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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