Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
