This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
