Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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