Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
