I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
