I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize