Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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