My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
