i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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