Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize