this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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