so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
