He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
